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Mom insists she won't go to Adult Day Care with those old people! How can I get her to give ESSE a try?
Your Mom's negative reaction to the idea of attending Adult Day Care is normal. There is no one perfect response to your Mom but we will share suggestions from other families who have faced this same situation.
Before you attempt to sway your Mom's negative opinion make sure that you and your family have embraced the idea that attending ESSE Adult Day Care will be good for your Mom. Often family members are just as uncertain as their loved one and it shows. Too often families will not take their loved one to Adult Day Care because they believe she will be happier and better off at home. That is rarely the case. When speaking to your Mom about attending ESSE Adult Day Care avoid the extremes of either stridently insisting that she go or telling her that it is her choice. If you order your Mom to attend ESSE you know how that will turn out. If you tell your Mom that it is up to her whether she attends ESSE you know what she will choose. A respected 3rd party can tip the scales. Tell your Mom that her doctor (or minister) says that she needs to attend ESSE. Your Mom's doctor/minister says that ESSE helps keep seniors more active, provides more social interaction, and promotes fitness.
Keep things simple and low key, but be firm.
Make it clear to your Mother that you want her to do this for herself because you believe it is best for her--not best for you.
We use the term "Adult Day Care" to communicate the nature of ESSE's non profit services. However, we suggest you use another term when speaking to your Mom. Call us the "Senior Center," "Senior Club," "Older Adult Center," the "Center", "ESSE," or whatever feels right to you and your Mom.
Beware, do not yield to the temptation of telling your Mother that if she doesn't like going to ESSE she can quit. The only bigger challenge you will face than getting your Mom to go that first day at ESSE will be getting your Mom to go back to ESSE the second day. It will take time for your Mom to let down her guard and adjust to attending ESSE. But over time that reluctance almost always changes from "I don't want to go" to "hurry up or we will be late." Contact ESSE to learn more or to discuss your particular situation.
Contact: Cathy Davit, ESSE Executive Director, PHONE: 630-260-3773(Click "close" in upper right corner to return to complete list of FAQ questions.)